From the “Don’t Try This at Home” file, Greeley served up a real gem last week: a 27-year-old man named Dillan Roker allegedly chucked a 10-pound rock through a Greeley Police photo radar van parked in a school zone. The technician inside caught minor injuries, about $2,600 in damage was done, and Roker was quickly cuffed on first-degree assault, criminal mischief, and third-degree assault. The Greeley Tribune reports the whole thing was caught on stationary cameras. Yes, the guy trying to fight Big Brother got caught… by Big Brother.
The Bullet Point Brief
- Weapon of choice: landscaping rock. Forget Molotovs, forget witty protest signs – Roker went full Fred Flintstone on a school-zone van. Nothing screams “political sophistication” like a landscape cobble.
- Caught on camera… by cameras. You attacked the camera van. In front of other cameras. Genius move. That’s like robbing a bank while wearing your Costco membership badge.
- Charges stacked higher than the Rockies. First-degree assault, third-degree assault, criminal mischief, and an old misdemeanor warrant. He basically speed-ran the Weld County Courthouse bingo card.
- Financial own-goal: $2,600 in damage. Translation: Congrats, you just bought Greeley another photo radar lens. You didn’t kill the machine – you funded the upgrade.
- School zone = dumb zone. Doing this at 7 a.m. near kids? That’s not civil disobedience. That’s felony cosplay with a side order of “parents now hate you more than speeding tickets.”
My Bottom Line
Here’s the thing: Mr. Roker isn’t entirely wrong about the evil of photo radar vans – he’s just criminally stupid in how he chose to protest. I mean, buddy, I’ve got seven principled, Constitution-backed, liberty-loving reasons these rolling ticket printers suck, and none of them involve smashing a window like a drunk uncle at a Buffalo Wild Wings.
- No Due Process = No Justice. These vans spit out citations by algorithm. You can’t cross-examine a Nikon.
- Presumed guilty until you prove otherwise. Ever tried convincing a bureaucrat you weren’t driving? It’s like arguing with Comcast, but with court fees.
- Revenue, not safety. If it was about safety, we’d have officers pulling over maniacs in real time – not vans parked in “gotcha” spots like speed-limit booby traps.
- No discretion, no humanity. Cop: “Hey, you were rushing to the ER, I’ll give you a break.” Van: “LOL nope, pay $100.”
- No feedback, no change. A stop teaches you immediately. A letter two weeks later? You’ve sped 30 times since. Zero behavioral impact.
- Big Brother creep. Once we normalize cameras mailing fines, don’t be shocked when drones cite you for jaywalking or Alexa reports your unlicensed cat.
- Flat fines crush working people. $100 is a shrug to the rich, but devastating to the paycheck-to-paycheck crowd. Congratulations, robots, you’ve automated inequity.
So yes, these vans are liberty-sucking ATM machines dressed up as “public safety.” But you don’t fight Big Brother with a rock, you fight him with policy. You testify at council meetings, rally your neighbors, run for office, raise hell within the bounds of civics. In a republic, you don’t throw stones – you throw arguments, elections, and lawsuits.
Roker, instead of making the case, you made yourself a meme. And worse, you gave the city exactly what it wants: sympathy for the van. Hell, they’ll probably name the replacement “ROKER-1” in your honor.
But a rock through a window in a school zone is not civil courage. It is cowardice with velocity. In a republic, we use words, votes, lawsuits, and elections. Use those. Do not throw stones. That makes you the villain in your own story, and it hands the surveillance lobby every talking point they wanted.
