I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – being a Weld County Commissioner has its perks, and I’m not just talking about the bad coffee and the occasional angry email in ALL CAPS. I’ve had the good fortune to meet some dangerously smart, surprisingly cool people in this gig. Case in point: Chris Richardson.
Chris and I crossed paths back when he was repping Elbert County as a County Commissioner. Then, in a moment of what I can only assume was temporary insanity, he decided to run for the Colorado House. Somehow, the voters in HD 56 took the bait, and now he’s down at the Capitol, actually doing the job like a grown-up who knows what he’s doing. Annoying, right?
Here’s the kicker – Chris is sharp. Like, “I need Google to keep up with him” sharp. Smarter than me, not that the bar’s set high. And the post you’re about to see? Not mine. It’s Chris’s brainchild. He threw it out on social media (you really should follow him, unless you hate intelligence and common sense), and I couldn’t stop myself from digging into it.
So prepare yourselves, folks. Here’s where Rep. Richardson’s little brain grenade took me…
Another day, another Polis Executive Order…
Saddle up, rural Colorado, because Jared Polis just dropped another executive order that’s basically a polite middle finger to every town that doesn’t want to become a carbon-corrected copy of Boulder. Let’s tear this thing apart and see how it’ll rattle the rafters of governance outside the Denver-Boulder progressive bubble bath.
The Gist:
Executive Order D 2025 011 amends and expands the original “Strategic Growth” EO (D 2025 005). In plain speak? It tightens the screws on local governments by forcing compliance with a bunch of urbanist state laws, mostly aimed at cramming more people into smaller spaces under the eco-friendly delusion that you can legislate affordability and sustainability into existence.
The Death of Local Control:
Let’s start with the big ugly: local authority just got kneecapped. This EO prioritizes state-administered funding based on whether local governments comply with Polis-approved laws like:
- HB24-1007 – Bye-bye single-family zoning, hello 8 college bros and a meth lab in your basement.
- HB24-1152 – ADUs (Accessory Dwelling Units) everywhere. Translation: More backyard shantytowns.
- HB24-1304 – Parking minimums gutted, because clearly no one in Lamar or Rifle owns a pickup, right?
- HB24-1313 – Forced high-density housing near transit… assuming your town has a bus, which it likely doesn’t.
This whole EO turns DOLA (Department of Local Affairs) into the hall monitor from hell, scoring municipalities like a twisted version of Yelp for Woke Housing Policy.
“Strategic Growth Compliant” = Gold star and first in line for state cash. “Non-Compliant” = Enjoy your potholes, peasant.
So much for subsidiarity. Town councils and county commissions? You now answer to DOLA’s clipboard brigade.
(Yet Even More) Rural Shafting:
If you’re outside the Denver-Boulder Eco-Utopia™ – say, in the San Luis Valley, the Eastern Plains, or the Western Slope – you’re straight-up screwed.
This EO:
- Pressures rural communities to comply with dense urbanist policies that make no damn sense in places where the nearest neighbor is a quarter-mile away.
- Links housing development dollars to ideological conformity, not actual community need.
- Ties transportation, energy, and climate-related grants to the same ideological litmus test. So, if your town doesn’t want an electric bus stop or high-rise housing project, you’re out of luck.
In short: If you don’t want your rural lifestyle “transformed” into a Polis-friendly urban planning experiment, enjoy being at the back of the funding bus.
Follow the Money:
The EO explicitly states that “Funding Opportunities” will now be prioritized for compliant local governments. That includes:
- Infrastructure
- Energy grants
- Historic preservation
- Climate crap
- Even economic development funds
So this ain’t just about housing. It’s a full-spectrum fiscal chokehold.
The governor and his agencies will score your loyalty and hand out cash accordingly. It’s the bureaucratic version of “Nice town you got there. Shame if it didn’t get any grant funding.”
Bureaucracy on Steroids (because we need even more government):
Each agency (CDOT, DOLA, CEO, OEDIT) is now:
- Scoring compliance quarterly
- Publishing rankings
- Approving new grants based on those rankings
So not only do small towns have to figure out how to stay afloat, now they need a damn compliance officer just to navigate Polis’s policy maze. Want money for a sidewalk? Better show how many staircases you modernized and how few cars your peasants own.
My Bottom Line:
This EO is:
- A bureaucratic cudgel wrapped in feel-good climate and equity buzzwords.
- A Trojan horse for statewide zoning mandates.
- A budgetary bribery scheme where Polis dangles your tax dollars in front of you, then pulls them away if you don’t bend the knee.
It’s not “strategic growth,” it’s coercive homogenization – where the state tells every square inch of Colorado to look and act like downtown Denver, whether it works or not.
So, unless your town’s official bird is the e-scooter and your idea of freedom is a stack of transit-oriented apartment blocks, this EO isn’t helping you – it’s telling you to shut up and obey.
