The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) just dropped a report that basically says, “Hey everyone—don’t blame the sun for global warming.” According to reporting by Marianne Goodland in the Denver Gazette, NOAA scientists claim that solar activity, including sunspots and solar flares, has had “no appreciable long-term impact” on climate change. Instead, they’re doubling down on the usual human-caused suspects: carbon emissions, fossil fuels, and industrial activity. In other words: it’s you, not the sun. And if you’re scratching your head wondering how the flaming ball of nuclear fire that powers literally all life on Earth isn’t part of the climate equation, you’re not alone.
The Bullet Point Brief
- Sun? Nah, Doesn’t Count
NOAA claims the sun’s variability has no significant long-term effect on Earth’s climate. This is like blaming a house fire on the toaster while ignoring the furnace in the basement. - Follow the CO2, Not the Sunspots
Their data says warming isn’t caused by solar flares or sun cycles but by the usual climate change cocktail: humans, cars, cows, and capitalism. - Trust Us, We’re the Experts™
The report leans hard on “peer-reviewed science,” which we’ve been told for years is basically gospel—unless it disagrees with a new narrative next week. - They Kinda, Sorta Admit It Used to Matter
Past solar cycles may have had some influence, but NOAA insists that modern warming is “almost entirely manmade.” Almost. Which leaves juuuust enough wiggle room to sound kinda objective. - Once Again: Shut Up, Peasant
Translation from bureaucratese: Stop asking questions. Stop thinking for yourself. Obey the climate narrative. Don’t look up.
My Bottom Line
So let me get this straight: The sun—the actual center of our solar system, the fireball that literally dictates seasons, plant growth, migration patterns, vitamin D levels, and every known life cycle—is somehow irrelevant to Earth’s long-term temperature? What the actual hell? If that sounds insane, it’s because it is.
Look, I’m not some backwoods wingnut carving chemtrail warnings into plywood with a butter knife. I’m just a regular guy with a decent amount of common sense—and common sense says if the sun gets cranky, we get cooked. But now NOAA wants me to believe that a factory in Pittsburgh is more important to global climate than a 10,000-degree nuclear inferno hovering 93 million miles away? That’s not science, that’s satire.
But here’s the bigger issue: we don’t trust them anymore. We don’t trust “the science.” We don’t trust the institutions. And why should we? These are the same people who told us cloth masks would save Grandma, that men can get pregnant, and that shutting down your business was “for your safety.” They lie. They obfuscate. They rewrite the rules when the truth gets inconvenient. And now they want us to fork over trillions, give up meat, and feel guilty for exhaling—all while ignoring the one star that literally heats the whole planet. It’s either stupidity or a scam. Maybe both.
You’re damn right the grift is good. There’s no money in moderation, no control in common sense, and no power in telling people to just be faithful stewards of creation like God intended. So instead, we get fear porn, endless regulations, carbon credits for billionaires, and climate prophets in Patagonia fleeces. Meanwhile, regular folks are told to shut up and recycle while they watch their gas bills and grocery prices skyrocket.
So no, you’re not crazy. You’re not a wingnut. You’re awake. And that makes you dangerous to the narrative. Stay that way.
