Governor Jared Polis just did the political equivalent of a Broadway soft-shoe routine—backpedaling on his vanity bridge project like a man who just saw the polling numbers and heard the sound of pitchforks being sharpened. In a July 22, 2025, article for The Denver Gazette, Marianne Goodland reports that the governor’s $29 million “Bridge to Me” got roundhouse kicked by the public. Polis launched a poll to “gather feedback”—translation: “find a parachute”—and the numbers came in hot: 94% of Coloradans said hell no. Veterans called it disrespectful. Historic Denver called it idiotic. And Coloradans across the board saw it for what it was: a wildly expensive vanity project at a time when roads are crumbling and trust in government is lower than gas station sushi.
The Bullet Point Brief
- 94% Voted “No, You Dumbass”: Out of nearly 88,000 responses to the governor’s own survey, over 82,000 rejected the bridge idea outright. That’s not a poll—that’s a beatdown.
- Vets Ain’t Having It: Veteran groups called the bridge “disrespectful,” “unnecessary,” and a “symbol of disregard.” Translation: You tried to pave over hallowed ground for a damn selfie bridge.
- $8.5 Million Already Burned: Yes, the state already flushed millions on this thing before checking to see if anyone wanted it. Polis promised to raise the rest privately—because apparently we believe in fiscal tooth fairies now.
- Polis Drops the Mic (and the Bridge): He says he’ll stop the project “in its tracks.” Dramatically promises to chain himself to the Capitol steps if anyone tries to build it. Cool cosplay, Gov—but maybe just govern?
- Sidestep Complete: Like Charles Durning in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Polis shuffled left, right, back, and spun a political pirouette out of this disaster—with that same goofy grin and teflon sheen. By the way, I gotta share that vid – Polis is a better dancer than Durning…
My Bottom Line
Governor Polis is slicker than a greased otter on rollerblades. The man could sell snow to a skier and make them thank him for it. And while I’ll be rolling out a full list of grievances soon (bring snacks), this bridge debacle is Polisism 101: launch an ego-fueled project, get dragged for it, then spin the retreat into a triumphant “listening tour.” Buddy, you didn’t listen—you got slapped upside the head by the public, veterans, and reality, and decided not to double down like an idiot. Congrats? This bridge was never about connection—it was about legacy. And when it tanked, he dropped it like a hot poll number. You know what’s really missing? Bridges between rural Colorado and our metro overlords. Not steel and concrete ones. Real ones. Start there, Guv.
