CPR News just ran a thrilling (read: mind-numbing) deep dive into Denver’s office vacancy rate hitting record highs this past quarter. Written by professional buzzkill Andrew Kenney, it pokes around looking for answers like that guy at your HOA meeting who thinks banning lawn gnomes will fix everything.
The Bullet Point Brief
- Denver’s office space is now 32% empty—so basically it’s just ferns, echo chambers, and broken dreams.
- Working from home didn’t kill downtown. Rampant crime, failing transit systems, and soul-sucking parking fees did.
- Newer buildings do okay; older ones might as well be haunted houses.
- Developers are ‘puzzled’—probably because no one bothered to ask business owners or commuters what they want.
My Bottom Line
Oh gee, I wonder why downtown Denver feels like a zombie apocalypse set dressed by Whole Foods. Couldn’t be the unchecked homelessness, outdoor drug parties masquerading as bus stops, or the charming blend of vandalism and fentanyl on every corner. But nah—let’s all scratch our heads and write more think pieces asking why businesses are fleeing faster than Gavin Newsom from common sense.
Here’s an idea: When you stop focusing on ESG quotas and start focusing on safety, cleanliness, and economic common sense—you might have a shot at reviving downtown. Until then? Good luck renting office space next to a tent encampment where someone’s cooking meth over an open manhole.
City leaders drank the woke Kool-Aid until they were blackout drunk on bad policy. You can’t tax-and-spend your way back from shoving working families out of the city center with parking costs that could rival college tuition—and forget public transport unless you enjoy daily roulette between “late,” “stabbed,” or “canceled.” The free market is speaking loudly—and it wants OUT of chaos capital.
Don’t blame remote workers or tech trends. Blame the damn mayor and planners treating common sense like it’s an endangered species. Y’all built a Disneyland for degeneracy and now wonder why the Mouse moved out.
