And just when we thought the City of Denver could not distance itself any further from the sanity that is Weld County…
Alright, Denver: brace yourselves for the Acro-Cats—an entire circus troupe of rescued felines trained to skateboard, ring bells, and bounce on trampolines, all in the name of cat empowerment and “no more shame” for the nation’s self-professed Cat Dues payers .
Who penned this manifesto and how do we yank his man card? Declaring that every kitty deserves a spotlight is one thing—but when your proudest achievement is teaching Mr. Whiskers to ride a scooter, you’ve officially peaked on the weird-o-meter. Meanwhile, actual dog folks are out there playing fetch, hiking trails, and never paying dues to reinforce their pup’s ego.
The J.D. Vance–style “cat lady” stereotype isn’t dead; it’s purring loudly at The Bug Theatre’s parking lot. And let’s not even start on “Cat Dues”—a monthly fee to keep your furball’s Instagram lit? Pure grift.
Are we that desperate for entertainment that we’ll hand over our money so cats can perform backflips? Dogs chase sticks; cats chase clicks. Dogs rule, cats drool. Dogs earn their keep with loyalty; cats earn theirs by hogging the sunbeam. If you want to fund pet enrichment, volunteer at a shelter—no trapeze required. But keep your Civic Center cat circus to yourselves, Denver. We’ll stick to slobber and loyalty, thank you very much.
Immediately following the performance, they’ll host an “Indivisible” Rally. Why not?! All their members will be in the audience.
